February 12, 2013
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Let’s Go Shopping.
“We can’t all be Supermom”….heard this a thousand times! You too, right?
At some point I believe I have even written those same words here on my little blog.While yes, it’s true, we can’t all be Supermom…
I’m getting tired of hearing about it.Scrolling through Facebook this morning,
a couple of people shared a link to an article about the book cover below….”Let’s Go Shopping”.The article was poking fun at the peaceful looking mom and her children,
saying this is not a real scenario, and shopping with children doesn’t look like that.The article was meant to be funny and lighthearted.
No offense to the mom who wrote it, I’m not writing to cut her down…or anyone else for that matter.
That’s not what this is about.Today, I want to encourage you.
You see, this picture CAN be your own little family at the grocery store.
Since my first baby was born I have taken my kids shopping with me.
At one point I had only little ones. Five of them eight years old and under.Were they always perfect in stores? No. However, most of the time we looked like that picture.
Not because I am supermom, not because I am lucky, not because I just happen to have good kids,
but because my husband and I actually took the time to teach our children how to behave!If you want your kids to be pleasant….Train them.
It is your God given duty as a parent! It’s what you’re supposed to be doing.If your kids are holy terrors…it’s mostly your own fault. Sorry, but it’s true.
Now don’t get me wrong, you will never have “perfect” children. and you shouldn’t expect them to be.
Kids are going to run and play and yell because that’s what they do. and that is okay.I’m talking about disrespect, whining and complaining,
crying and pouting in stores, standing up on chairs in restaurants….etc.Children don’t learn good character on their own, they need to be pointed in the right direction.
That is where you come in.If you’re waiting for some magic to happen that is going to make them turn into little angels…
You’re going to be waiting an awfully long while!At certain times you will feel…
…exhausted.
…like a Failure.
…angry.
…you’re going to choke someone.
…like running away.However, when you walk through the store and your children are sitting nice,
looking like the book cover above, you’ll feel so blessed, so rewarded!Come on Moms! You can do this.
Don’t get caught up in today’s low parenting standards. Help your kids to be better than that.
Give them the gift of having manners, showing respect and being polite.God gives us many examples in the bible of what a parent is supposed to be like.
Those are guidelines to strive for, to make us better.
And guess what? THEY WORK when applied!Aspire not to be supermom, but a happy mom. a content mom.
Who wants to wear a satin cape all day anyway? Not me. My hair would get so much static.Don’t take your motherhood for granted. Maximize it, enjoy it to it’s fullest potential.
Your kids are going to grow up fast, this is the best time of your life,
don’t waste it being eager for their bedtime.Happy Tuesday.
Comments (24)
Go Moms!!
(moms are weird creatures… i never would survive with such workload that moms have, lol)
Can you see me beaming!???THIS IS EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That picture closely resembles how I MAY have looked when my younger 2 went grocery shopping with me. Little red-haired boy sat in the cart seat, Brianniebandannie always walked along, making sweet-voiced suggestions on what to buy (no begging allowed). What the picture doesn’t show is when we were at the cashier line, red-haired baby Wahwhy decided to turn around and “help” (he was also getting whiney because he was getting very hungry). The jar of Ragu that he picked up, slipped out of his hands and onto the floor. Oy vey. All attention and every critical eye was on ME (I was shy then). I didn’t scold him and profusely apologized to the cashier. I wish the picture showed that part. Everything you wrote is so very much needed to be seen by many people. I wish you could appear on TV and proclaim these parenting wisdoms. (Is wisdoms a word?) I love you so much more for this post!
Such a great post and couldn’t agree with you more! Wish I could share this with my all my neighbors. They act so surprised when their kids are continually getting into trouble yet the kid is either always home alone (latch key) or with their friends.
If kids are not being guided by and attached to their parents/mature adult they attach themselves to their friends and copy all their immature behavior. Ha ha you gotten me started
I agree 100%! As a childcare provider I see several styles of parenting up close – and am never surprised with the way the children behave. It comes from their parents. I always find it sad that the parents seem so surprised and at a loss with the way their children behave in my home. The difference? I guide them, teach them – and I never give in
I think today’s parents try too hard to be friends with their children.
I love that you posted this. It feels like everyone is always talking about how overwhelmed they are and their kids never listen or how their house is trashed all the time and they never get out of their pajamas. I do understand that life gets overwhelming and exhausting. And trust me, sometimes my kids DO get whiney in the store and touch everything, but if it’s always a nightmare, then what is really going on?? I’ve always been a little bit of a neat freak anyway so I figured I was just the odd ball out, but since we’ve come to camp and I see how much putting outside structure is one of the biggest keys to getting structured kids behavior, I’ve been thinking about doing a post on it. But I don’t quite have the nerve.
Seriously though, every time a kid starts losing it they go back to the basics. Clean camper. Clean tent. Clean campsite. Kids WANT structure. Even when you think they don’t. I’m proud of you for saying this!
Wow, how can I even tell you how much I love this!
I am so inspired, encouraged, challenged, and convicted all at once.
Inspired and encouraged because this is how I want to live – to show the world that kids can be a pleasure and a joy. They don’t have to be nightmares!!
And challenged and convicted because there are areas in my parenting I realize I need to work on.
Kids are a reflection of their parents – that is SO true.
It can be a wonderful thing, and it can be a big ouch!!
Yes, there will be times of kids acting up, but that doesn’t have to be the normal thing!
Wow, I am just SO inspired all over again.
Thank you SO MUCH for writing this!!
XOXO
amen! to the post and all the comments above.
inspired/ convicted. yup!
Wow!! Thanks for posting this! I have recently brought my son home and am terrified to take him to the store for long by myself to get more than maybe two things. This really gives me hope and made my night!
Thank you for your kind comment & prayers are so welcomed
I love taking my kids shopping – training is the key – but well worth the effort coz it’s a great feeling having well behaved kids when others around you are all falling apart at the checkout!
)
Yes! Yes! Yes! I agree with you. I have always taken our children out…out shopping, out to eat, etc. Training is what is needed. Were they always perfect…um NO! But they learned. I often had two carts at Walmart..one for groceries and one for kids…LOL.
You can’t expect your kids to be “angels” in public when they act like heathens at home!!
thanks for posting this.
This is so good, Liz! Sometimes we just need a shot of something strong to get us back on track.
I love your last line about bedtime. Thank you.
I agree. I think that if parents take the responsibility for teaching their children — being neither drill sergeants nor slaves — they (and everyone else) will be able to really enjoy the company of their children.
I think my children are for the most part well-behaved… but taking all four to the store is something I try to avoid. I gave up on grocery shopping with the twins when a lady tapped me on the shoulder and said “Sorry to bother you but your kids are throwing yogurt” I turned to see about 3 containers of yogurt split on the floor. I am thankful to be past those days.
Now, I usually just take one with me. It provides some one on one time with that child and my kids call them “dates”. I teach the girls about shopping for bargains and let them push their own cart. The boys like to drive the cars around the store. I understand this post is more about behavior then actual grocery shopping… but just my random thoughts. I love our grocery shopping “dates”.
Yes!! I can take all 5 of my kids to the store, without a problem, most of the time. I get a lot of shocked comments from other people, “they’re so well behaved!” and so on. I’m not gonna lie, I love that part. If I go into Kroger with only a couple of them or by myself, the associates ask me where the other kids are because they are so used to seeing them.
I’m on round 2…the little granddaughter. She’s 2 and feeling her oats but is pretty well behaved. I did feel sorry for a mom at a grocery store recently. Her son was really acting up and just throwing a fit at the check-out line. The mom was trying to hold her ground but as she ignored, it got worse. Two different people commented ..loudly.. at what a brat he was and too old to be acting that way. She looked at them and said “he’s autistic” then put her few items on the counter and left the store crying. Really opened my eyes. I felt so bad for her.
@VallejoGirl - Thank you for this! I wanted to comment before… but lost my nerve… but yes! There are lots of kids on the Autism spectrum. They often look totally “normal” and you would have no way of knowing about their struggles just by looking at them. I would have never understood this five years ago… but God has put a “special” little boy in my life that in spite of me investing 110% in his life and working with him constantly, has embarrassed me greatly with many melt downs in public. People don’t understand. And I don’t really expect them too. I try not to care what people think of me. I know that I’m doing my best and and my parenting isn’t a show to impress other people. My audience is God alone. Now… when I see a child totally losing it in public…my heart goes out to the mom instead of judging her I realize how much hard stuff she might have in her life. I don’t assume that just because her child isn’t well behaved that she must not be a good mom. Good parenting doesn’t always result in “good” kids. Life just isn’t that simple. I’ve felt the stares, and I’ve cried when I’ve felt judged. I AM doing my best and until you’ve worked with a “special” child day in and day out… well you just really can’t understand what it’s like!
That said… we still go to the grocery store. We still practice and it IS getting better… but it’s been years of working through this. So it’s not that it still can’t be done. Just saying… Because we never know what someone else is walking through!
@WasabiBek - My nephew is autistic but he lives in another state and I have not been around him but a couple of times. I know it’s rough on his parents and siblings though. There is a special place in heaven for you moms (and dads)!
i LOVE this Liz!!
it’s such a good challenge to take up. and, it’s highly convicting to my spirit….i’ve been thinking a lot about how my kids really are a reflection of what i allow/don’t allow, how i train/don’t train, how i love/don’t love, etc. and i’ve also been thinking that their acting out or misbehaving or things getting out of hand is because of me…..i told Tim that it’s not my kids fault if and when i lose my cool; if i would deal with the things that i should WHEN i should, it would not get to the place where i feel like i’m losing control. not of them, of me! parenting is not about control for me, unless you’re talking about controlling myself. sometimes i need to be slapped back to the reality that i’m the parent and i am given the responsibility and HONOR to train these kids, these souls and it is NOT for the faint of heart!
i really love this post Liz. and, i know you’re not wanting to be patted on the back for your kids, but i tell you. having been around your kids and seen the way they are, Tim and i both were challenged and BLESSED by the parents you and Jeff are. you’re the kind of parents/friends that are good and positive to be around. wish you weren’t so far away!
have a great night!
♥♥
@VallejoGirl - @WasabiBek - I didn’t mean to offend you, I hope I haven’t. Having a child with autism is a completely different situation than what I was writing about. I don’t have an autistic child, but I have a cousin and a friend that do…and it can be very challenging at times for both of them. So please, don’t take this post the wrong way. I was writing to say that I have noticed many moms posting the negative side of motherhood, when they have the power to change their experience as a mom and make it into something much more positive with just a little effort on their part. I do not judge those I see out in public as bad parents because their children are misbehaving. There have been times where I have had to leave a place and take care of an issue with one of my children. (I do however hate when parents scream and yell and talk down to their kids in public…then you can see why the children have no qualms about screaming and yelling themselves!) and Rebekah, you are right…God is the only one we should be worried about, not fearing what man thinks of our parenting style. =)
No, no offense taken from me. Thank you though, you are very sweet to respond. Raising kids is such a challenge for all parents. I so love being a grandma, on good days… and bad!
amen Liz!!!
It’s amazing what some extra training will do.
As a babysitter I’m always wary of taking kids out somewhere when I’m not the parent and don’t know how they’ll act when they’re with someone like me where they can push the limits and I can’t do much in return. I’ve had two instances, one where the kids were awful and then today where the kids were a dream and everyone was complimenting me on what good children I had
Who wants to wear a satin cape all day anyway? Not me. My hair would get so much static.
….lol yes
Very nicely put! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about parenting. Raising children is the most important job a wife and husband have, next to loving God and each other. Some times I think it is the hardest of the three! My hat’s off to you!
@Elizabethmarie_1 - Thanks for the sweet reply. I’m not offended. As a reader of your blog for a few years now, I was pretty sure I knew what your heart was in this. And I would have to agree with you that I get really tired of people complaining about their kids and acting like they don’t even like them. Especially when it’s among fellow Christians. It breaks my heart! Your love for your children and your husband and your cheerful attitude about being with them all the time are the reason I was drawn to your blog in the first place!:) Love that about you!
It has been a bit frustrating to me though as I don’t have any friends with kids on the Autism spectrum and so a lot of times I DO feel misunderstood and like no one really knows what it’s like. I know a few years ago I wouldn’t have had a clue. Sorry… I wasn’t trying to be oversensitive or anything… but it probably did come across that way since this issue is right where I live right now and so many days I do feel like if I could just somehow figure out HOW to be a better parent things would be different. It’s been a journey for me. Me being a perfectionist and a bit of a control freak… To really just stop worrying about the approval of man and know that before God I’m giving this whole parenting my very best shot! And He gives new grace every day.Blessing on you and your little family Liz!